OBAMA SECRETLY VETS MUSLIMS FOR CABINET?

CHICAGO — In a bid to get more Muslim Americans working in the Obama administration, a book with resumes of 45 of the nation's most qualified — Ivy League grads, Fortune 500 executives and public servants, all carefully vetted — has been submitted to the White House.

The effort, driven by community leaders and others, including U.S. Rep. Keith Ellison, D-Minn., was bumped up two weeks because White House officials heard about the venture, said J. Saleh Williams, program coordinator for the Congressional Muslim Staffers Association, who sifted through more than 300 names.

"It was mostly under the radar," Williams said. "We thought it would put (the president) in a precarious position. We didn't know how closely he wanted to appear to be working with the Muslim American community."

“You got to be kidding, Right?…”

And you wondered where all those Muslim terrorists in Guantanamo were going! The Denver Post reveals that Obama (may peace be upon him) has had a group of Muslims led by Muslim Keith Ellison, People’s Republic of Minnesota, searching for Muslim Ivy League grads and Fortune 500 executives.

Hell, I think it’s great! I think I’ll let a terrorist from Guantanamo take my grand daughter to the corner mini-mart to visit his cousin!

Ya know I checked on this guy…Keith Ellison (aka Keith Hakim or Keith Ellison Muhammad)….he is the first Muslim elected to Congress. His promise to take the oath of office on January 4, 2007 with his hand on the Koran rather than the Bible.

Reinforcing his pro-Islamist stance, was Ellison’s celebration speech in Dearborn, Mich.—the hotbed of Hezbollah supporters. He promised allegiance to Allah before a crowd cheering, “Allahu Akbar!” (Allah is great!)—the final words of the 9/11 hijackers before crashing into the Twin Towers.

As I see it, here is the problem with taking the oath of office using the Koran……and not the Bible…….

The Bible teaches that “The Truth shall make you free,” (another words, for you Gitmo Goonies and company, “Tell the Truth”!) The Koran, by contrast, teaches that it’s OK to lie to infidels if it furthers the cause of Islam; that nation states have no legitimacy; that the only legitimate nation is the nation of Islam, which has no territorial boundaries; and those who do not submit to the will of Allah should be condemned to a life of dhimmitude (a.k.a. dhimi-wits uneducated second class citizenry). Because the Koran does not mandate truth telling to infidels ( that’s we Americans) and because upholding a man-made constitution ( that’s the U.S. Constitution)conflicts with the literal text of Koranic law this may explain why all the lies and attempts by our many Congressional “super-duper dhimi-wits” to destroy our Constitution.

It’s interesting the contradictions in politics. The dhimi-wits that the Koran condemns are the same dhimi-wits that are giving power to the non-dhimi-wits.

This is great…We got a full blown subversive overthrow of the American way of life and the dhimi-wits don’t even know it. It’s like a dentist who tells you won't even feel it or know it when he pulls out all of your teeth and you are happy about it until you sit down to dinner and try to eat an ear of corn.

Man, when you talk about taking the ball and running with it, You’d think Obama won the election with 90% of the vote. Yes, I think Joint Chief of Staff Muhammad Ahmed-Al Towelhead is the answer for the USA to really embrace multi-cultures. Hey Evangelicals, I sure am glad we didn’t elect a Mormon!

…..and for you non-dhimi-wits who can’t read English, I have included ….

كما أن عددا من أعضاء حكومة أولمرت لم يعجبهم وصف الرئيس أوباما مشكلة الشرق الأوسط "بالمشكلة المحورية لأزمات المنطقة"، نظرا لأنهم اعتادوا على التصور الأميركي للإدارة السابقة، الذي يعتبرها إحدى أزمات المنطقة شأنها شأن أزمة لبنان أو أزمة العراق وأزمة إيران.

وبالتالي فإن الأهمية التي توليها الإدارة الأميركية الجديدة تزعج ساسة إسرائيل، خاصة بعد أن أعلن أوباما في حديثه لقناة العربية أن "تركيز الجهود الدولية لحل أزمة الشرق الأوسط من شأنه أن يسهم تلقائيا في حل بقية أزمات المنطقة التي تعد أحد تداعياتها". إضافة إلى أنه، ومنذ فوز الأحزاب اليمينية بالأغلبية في الانتخابات الإسرائيلية، يدور حديث عن خلاف بين الحكومتين قد يقود إلى تصادم.

WELCOME TO THE USA, MR. TERRORIST!

In a press conference, Dennis Blair, the Director of National Intelligence said the Obama administration is still wrestling with what to do with the remaining 240 detainees at the Guantanamo Bay Naval Base, which the president has ordered closed. Some of the detainees, deemed non-threatening, may be released into the United States as free men, Blair confirmed. That would happen when they can’t be returned to their home countries, because the governments either won’t take them or the U.S. fears they will be abused or tortured.

Pictured; Ret, Admiral Dennis (“Larry”) Blaire, President Barrak (“Moe”) Obama and Leon (“Curley”) Panetta. The grand sum of America’s Intelligence?

Get this, “Moe” will not return terrorists to where they came from because they may be treated like terrorists should be treated so he will release them into the United States and put them on welfare? Maybe they can get jobs teaching our kids in school! He will not return savage terrorists to their country of origin because they may be waterboarded. What is next? It’s only a matter of time before “Moe” orders a nuclear strike on the US!! Those terrorists better hope “Moe” puts them in Vermont and not in Texas.

I haven’t heard much in the media about this yet, I guess they are waiting until it happens? I did run across a couple of note-worthy comments tho…

Anti-Gun advocate/celebrity Rosie O'Donnell said that it was about time that we released those innocent victims of the Bush administration. They can live here but “NO GUNS ALLOWED”..”only my kid’s bodyguard can pack… “

Congressperson Barney Frank said…”It’s what the American people want….Me and the boyz are already looking forward to being patriotic and having “Gitmo Goodie” who is being released early, living next door to use”

“Gitmo Goodie”

Many Americans are already sending messages to Washington….

“I LOVE YA… MAN………” “CAN’T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG?….”

President Hoop-en-change announced today that the War on Terror is no longer the proper nomenclature. The War On Terror (WOT) will be known from this point forward as…ta-da….Overseas Contingency Operation (OCO)! “W..T..F..”..I can imagine the Al Qaeda and Taliban terrorists dropping their weapons and converting to Judaism in fear and saying “Oh Noooo, not the Overseas Contingency Op!! How savage can this President Hoop-de-hoop be?” This is just the latest garbage to come out of the Hoop-en-dope administration. First it was outlawing the use of “enemy combatants” to describe terrorists caught on the battlefield. (see post LINK ).

Then the outlawing of any torture of said terrorists even if they held information that would save American lives. Interesting that President Hoop-en-dork doesn’t have a problem out of sucking the brains out of a viable baby who makes the mistake of surviving an abortion but he pees in his pants over torturing a murderous savage!

Obviously, the President’s foreign policy is the liberal tried and true “maybe if we’re nice they’ll go away.” And that worked real well for Carter too! President Hoop-en-poop was ridiculed and humiliated by the ayatollahs in Iran after he made his fuzzy-wuzzy, kiss-ass video to them last week (see post LINK). Today Queen Hitlery Clintoon told the corrupt Mezcan government that the US is the cause for much of Mexico’s problems! What is it about liberals that makes them want to apologize to the world and throw our America under the socialist bus?

What is wrong with hating and wanting to kill our enemies? Americans wanted to kill Japs and Krauts in WWII. Were they wrong? Under Bush we couldn’t just kill the Muslim terrorists…we had to liberate them or bring them to justice. When someone tells us that they seek to kill us, we should believe them. They don’t drink $6.00 lattes in Starbucks talking about the newest Ipod. It is a grave mistake to believe that being kind to them will result in anything positive. President Hoop-en-dreams is being foolish and weak…and to make things worse he doesn’t even play hockey….."dumb shit probably never heard of the Ice Hawks….”

Stimulus? U.S. to buy Chinese condoms, ending Alabama jobs

This is real…I did not make it up except for a few sly comments here and there..

Call it a condom conundrum.

At a time when the federal government is spending billions of stimulus dollars to stem the tide of U.S. layoffs, should that same government put even more Americans out of work by buying cheaper foreign products?

In this case, Chinese condoms.

In a move expected to cost 300 American the U.S. Agency for International Development (USAID), which has distributed an estimated 10 billion U.S.-made AIDS-preventing condoms in poor countries around the world.

But not anymore.

The switch comes despite assurances over the years that the agency would continue to buy American whenever possible.

But that's cold comfort to Alatech Healthcare condom worker Fannie Thomas, who has been making condoms in the southeastern Alabama factory for nearly 40 years in the small town of Eufaula.

“We pay taxes down here, too, and with all this stimulus money going to save jobs, it seems to me like they (the U.S. government) should share this contract so they can save jobs here in America,” Thomas said.

In fact, the government is close to accepting condoms from two offshore companies: Unidick Corp., which makes condoms in South Korea, and Qingdao Double Butterfly Group, which makes them in China.

Upon hearing the news, tiny little latex laborers in the tiny little village of Qingdao, staged a spontaneous tiny little demonstration celebrating the upcoming contract.

Comments from Condom Consultants…”CC”

Alatech (the Alabama company that will lose the Condom contract) officials said “their fight for condom supremacy is far from over. We will stand tall and stay strong and erect. Workers aren’t giving up, either”. “Even Chinese condom makers admit that some of their customers did not care for their products. Chinese buyers have complained their country’s condoms were “too thick, low quality and don’t feel comfortable and need some Stimulation ($)….which probably explained China’s overpopulation” "Our premium line of comdoms, notably the Pink Panther Zoomba brand, are the best to the world"

Former Vice President Al (the little green weenie) Gore questioned…“How much lead are in Condoms? “ “Or has any one really tested to see how much lead one condom can hold?. what about the affects on Global Warming with all the heat produced?”

Congressman Barney (the purple queenie weenie) Frank lamented….”This is soooooooooooo US Government. I hope they also remember the vaseline.”

Former President Bill (the red hot weenie) Clinton chucked….”I feel your pain".."I wanna know who the heck the hottie is with the great rack thats holding the condom?”

Speaker of the House Nancy (the Grand Poopah) Pelosi twittered…”Nobody told me that this was part of the Stimulation package…Ooo…. what is it?…Maybe the Harvest Mice in the Bay Area need some of these gadgets?”

Attempts to reach Chinese condom manufacturers for comment were unsuccessful. We were told they were all out busy testing a new comdom prototype. We have learned from secret sources that this new prototype will be called "The Kenyan Express".

CONGRESSMAN HARRY “Six fingers” REID

Its time to leave the “Perils of Pauline” in the Detroit City Council and the “Adventures of Huckleberry Finn” in the White House and move on to some of the better known inmates of “Happy Hill Rest Home” (better known as Congress) and to look into ways our dearly beloved officials serve us….

Take one, Congressman Harry “Six Fingers” Reid, from the great state of Nevada.

Harry got his nickname after he learned at a very young age, that he had very sticky hands and when ever he laid down five items he came back with six? This phenomenon was considered a rare gift in the illegal profession of shoplifting. Therefore, Harry realizing what a precious gift he had been given decided to pledge his life to the great art of “Congressional Con-u-dumi-ty Activism”. (Actually Harry figured it was likely he would go to jail if he pursued a life of shoplifting so he decided to run for Congressional Sainthood where no one knows; Who dunnit?, What happened?, Where was I?, When?, How?, Why?, and just "all around" What's my freaking job?

Tomes can be written on Harry’s accomplishments and this Blog does not have room for all of the blessings he has given the American people but two items came up today that must be noted and can summarize his commitment to “Con-u-dumi-ty Activism”. These two items will make us all feel a little more humble after learning of his un-relentless fight to use that sixth finger.

1: Tonight, the citizens of Las Vegas, Nevada sleep soundly. Their senator, Harry Reid, is so concerned for their safety that he’s spent endless nights concocting a plan to keep them safe. Reid has recently proclaimed that thou shall not steal copper wiring in Sin City. To enforce this new edict, Senator Reid has successfully obtained $400,000 for copper wire theft prevention in the recent omnibus spending bill.

It seems clear to me that Congressman Reid’s decree will allow Las Vegas residents to overlook the fact that they have a one in eight chance of coming back to their home or car to find it robbed, damaged or missing. But once their copper wiring is safe, people will disregard the trivial fact that robbery in Las Vegas occurs at a rate five and a half times higher than elsewhere in the US, and assault is nearly four times more frequent.

Crime statisticians give Las Vegas a crime index number of 0, with 100 being the safest. They also say that Las Vegas is “safer than 0% of the cities in the US”. If a city is in the 0th percentile in terms of violent crimes and property theft, wouldn’t you think it might be helpful to put some money towards the hiring of police officers? Wouldn’t you think it would be important to focus on the violent murders, the houses being ransacked, and the people being assaulted?

2: LAS VEGAS (AP) -- Nevada Congressman Harry Reid has sent a letter to President “Huff-n-Puff” asking for clarification to a provision that restricts casinos from using federal stimulus funds. Harry said that the provision is "overly broad" and is discouraging nonprofit groups from applying for stimulus money.

Reid argues that casinos are often the only suitable space for conferences and workshops held by community organizations. He also cites a women's group that often uses casino hotel rooms as transitional housing for victims of violence. (why doesn’t he put recovering alcoholics and gambling addictive people in there too?

“Blog- the way I see it…..”

Hey Harry, I got an idea….Put up big tents in the desert for your conferences and workshops. Heck this would cut down of the rampant copper theft in Las Vegas. No A/C = No copper pipes. $400,000.00 is a lot of money to save A/Cs. How about you just pass some free laws that make buying scrap copper a “Tar and Feather, run yo ass out of town on a rail” type of crime. I won’t comment on the housing for victims of violent crimes. Before you know it Congress will enact a law that all victims in the country get to stay in a Las Vegas 4 star Casino/Hotel. That's what I need on my next jaunt to Vegas. Eating breakfast at the MGM a while some Detroit crack head boyfriend finds his victim of violent crimes soul mate at the table next to me and precedes to kick the shit out of her over her Oatmeal and papaya fruit.

This is great, I am paying Las Vegas to fix up their Casinos so that I can go there and lose my money….Is it me? or is Harry smoking nutty weed or eating that forbidden mushroom?

ITS TIME TO BLOW IRAN TO THE MOON

OBAMA: UNCLENCH YOUR FIST IRAN: YEAH, RIGHT

"HAPPY NOWRUZ"

"Ooooh...Obamaorgasm...Sooo touchy-feely""

We’ve had a score to settle with Iran since 1979 when they overran our embassy and held Americans hostage.They have supplied forces and materials to Iraq and have killed scores of US troops since we have been over there. They finance Hezbollah and Hamas who are known for brutal acts of terrorism and whose goal is America’s destruction and to wipe the nation of Israel off the face of the earth. Now we learn from a high-level Iranian defector that Iran was behind the funding of Syria’s nuclear program that Israel popped a year ago.

Now President "Hoop-en-change" has sent a pandering nicey-nice video to the murderous savages in Iran again asking them to “unclench their fist.” The Iranians, predictably, told "Hoop-de-de" to shove it. Hah! What a guy!

They now realize they have a 4 year window to screw with the US without reprisal. Once again we learn weakness is a terrible trait in a president. See, the Chinese, Russians, North Koreans and Iranians don’t care that he is black. They only care that he is weak. Heck, he doesn't even play hockey!

Who knows, in the near future we may have to ask Israel to bail us out?

What a nice message from "Hoop-de-da" to start the first day of spring....especially for our troops in the battlefield.....

OBAMA ENDS USE OF TERM “ENEMY COMBATANT”

Associated Press – Fri Mar 13, 7:56 pm ET

WASHINGTON – The Obama administration said Friday that it is abandoning one of President George W. Bush's key phrases in the war on terrorism: enemy combatant.

DON’T CALL HIM ENEMY COMBATANT ANY MORE!

Showing the love for his Muslim terrorist homies, President Obama’s administration is ending use of the term “enemy combatant.” The Justice Department said on Friday that it will no longer use the term to hold enemy comba….oops…the “you know whats” at Guantanamo. His decision to close Guantanamo is ridiculously stupid because so many of the released “you know whats” have returned to their “you know what” ways. Once a “you know what” always a “you know what.” But heaven forbid we imprison them…that may make us look bad on with other “you know whats.” If Obama was a Roman Caesar his name would be Doofus Maximus.

Regards "angrywhitedude" in Texas

OBAMA WHITE HOUSE BARS PRESS FROM PRESS AWARD CEREMONY

I am not making this up: This comes from The Los Angeles Times, Mar 20, 2009…..

Barack Obama was elected commander in chief promising to run the most transparent presidential administration in American history.

This achievement and the overall promise of his historic administration caused the National Newspaper Publishers Assn. to name him "Newsmaker of the Year."

The president is to receive the award from the federation of black community newspapers in a White House ceremony this afternoon.

The Obama White House has closed the press award ceremony to the press.

From the president's official schedule:

"Later in the afternoon, the President and the First Lady will attend a reception with the National Newspaper Publisher Association in the State Dining Room, where they will be presented the Newsmaker of the Year award. This event is closed press."

Maybe they'll let the newspaper people pass the award through the fence?

PRESIDENT OBAMA’S BIRTH CERTIFICATE REVEALED

Washington, D.C……

Today the White House released President Obama’s birth certificate.

Ha…Ha… Gotcha!!!!

Press Spokesman Robert Gibbs stated that this disclosure will finally put to rest any speculation that the President was not born in Hawaii as earlier disputed by many opponents of the President. Gibbs said that these “unpatriots” claimed that President Obama was not born in the United States of America therefore making him ineligible to be President of the United States. Claims by the “unpatriots” ranged from accusations that the President was actually born in a barn in Kenya to… he was beamed down from a spaceship being piloted by Nancy Pelosi’s caretaker.

Gibbs further said that the document was authenticated by a special committee spearheaded by Congressman “Banking Queen” Barney Frank.

Frank said “dish bursh shertificate ish reel…da preezident’s kids, Malia and Shaashaa shed it wash….Aash far aash I am conshuurned..Khase Klosed”

President Obama’s daughters Malis 10 and Sasha 7 were not allowed to comment on what Congressman Frank was babbling about.

OFFICIAL WHITE HOUSE BIRTH CERTIFICATE

CONTRADICTIONS OF THE DAY? ECONOMIC JUSTICE

Lets ask B.H.O. and his merry men………Why is it that ????

• America is capitalist and greedy - yet half of the population is subsidized.
• Half of the population is subsidized - yet they think they are victims.
• They think they are victims - yet their representatives run the government.
• Their representatives run the government - yet the poor keep getting poorer.
• The poor keep getting poorer - yet they have things that people in other countries only dream about.
• They have things that people in other countries only dream about - yet they want America to be more like those other countries.

Oleg Athashian, writer, from the Ukraine living in the Big Apple

Maybe the Wicked Witch of the West Coast can splain this….

Martha Reeves to Jay Leno: Perform inside city

5 days ago

DETROIT (AP) — Motown star turned Detroit City Councilwoman Martha Reeves says she has put in a call to comedian Jay Leno, asking him to move a free performance into the city from the suburbs.

 

 

 

 

 

Leno said on Monday's episode of NBC's "Tonight" show that the April 7 performance at The Palace of Auburn Hills will be for "anybody out of work in Detroit."

"He and I are longtime friends," The News quoted Reeves as saying. "I called him, and he said Detroit is his favorite place to visit."

Reeves, who was the lead singer of Martha and the Vandellas, said that Joe Louis Arena in Detroit was good enough for President Barack Obama, who held a campaign event there last year.

Hooray! Martha Reeves campaign for a second free Jay Leno show is a success! He’s doing that second show. 

At the Palace….. Just like the first one.

Jay Leno doesn’t give a rat’s ass what Martha Reeves thinks. He’s like a real Detroiter that way. It’s starting to get sad for poor, old Martha.

Please everybody email the Yakov Smirnoff Theater in Branson. Ask them to hire Martha. She can sing her tired songs to pensioners or something. This Council gig just isn’t working out.

TREASURY SECRETARY TIM GEITHNER FINALLY GETS HELP…

“without help my Stimulus Package is only this big”

Alarm is growing that President Obama’s Administration, as it seeks to navigate a course away from the jagged rocks of the worst recession in a generation, lacks hands on deck. Tim Geithner, the Treasury Secretary, is being forced to operate virtually on his own without any of the 17 deputies his department is supposed to have representing him in important negotiations or helping make crucial decisions.

At a congressional hearing last week, Paul Volcker, a former Federal Reserve chairman who chairs a panel giving President Obama economic advice, described the shortage of senior appointments at the Treasury as “shameful”. He said: “The secretary of the Treasury is sitting there without a deputy, without any undersecretaries, without any – as far as I know – assistant secretaries responsible in substantive areas at a time of very severe crisis. He shouldn’t be sitting there alone.”

“I will make your Stimulus Package this big”

Because of the dire need for help and due to the crappy condition of the economy President Obama has ordered the Federal Bureau of Prisons to place Bernie Madoff in a work release program just one day after he was found guilty for his $50 billion Ponzi Scheme and appointed Madoff as the Grand Poopah/Consigliari to Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner.

President Obama said “we must take advantage of Madoff’s extensive knowledge of the Ponzi Scheme to make my recovery plan work”

Rahm “Rambo” Emanuel, Chief of Staff, said “the President is right, we must never let a good crisis go to waste. If Madoff can sell his snake oil to his intellectual friends and family he can sure the hell sell our our program to the American people”

Vice President “the Brain” Biden commented that “Madoff is a true Patriot to give up his good time to serve his county, anyway we were having trouble finding a Patriot to fill the job, especially one that was not behind in his taxes””

THE PALACE IS NOT IN DETROIT!!!!

It’s official now, Jay Leno’s announcement of a free concert has definitely added Martha Reeves to the padded room area of the Detroit City Council. Martha Reeves plans to call Jay Leno and let him know that the Palace is not in Detroit like beautiful, watertight Cobo Falls Hall or maybe Harpos. One problem, she doesn’t know his telephone number. Monica Conyers told her to just call NBC and they would connect her directly to Jay Leno because she’s Martha Reeves and the Vandellas. Councilwoman Reeves said she would pursue changing the venue because she is adamant that she remembers Jay Leno saying that the show would be in Detroit even though she can’t remember the names of the Vandellas.

“Is there a Psychiatrist in the house?”

Martha - AJ's Music Café is not in Detroit

Ferndale café owner A.J. O'Neil -- whose bistro hosted a marathon songfest of "Danny Boy" last year to vie for a Guinness record -- has another musical marathon in store.

His Assembly Line Concert, starting at 5 p.m. March 20 and set to run nonstop for more than 10 days, aims to enlist car buyers as well as break a Guinness record.

A spokeswoman for Detroit councilwoman and former Motown star Martha Reeves said that Reeves would start the concert at AJ's Music Café by singing the national anthem. After that, nearly 200 bands are set to perform folk, jazz, rock, blues, Irish and even classical-guitar music.

“But Martha, "It isn't in Detroit!"...who do I call? who do I call?”

BARBARA-ROSE COLLINS REVEALED…..

“NEWS FLASH”

….we received more information on a developing story that we first reported here on February 27, 2009 “CONYERS AND SHREK EXPOSED” (click on link)

Sources tell us that Barbara-Rose Collins is now wearing the tiara that once belonged and worn by Princess Monica when she lived in the mythical kingdom of DuLoc. When sisters Princess Monica and Princess Fiona were first introduced to Lord Farquaad he presented them both with matching diamond tiaras. The story goes on to say that when Princess Monica fled the kingdom of Duloc she gave her tiara away to Lord Farquaad’s evil step-mother Lady Barbarosa to ensure her safe passage out of the kingdom. A close inspection of the wedding photo of Shrek and Princess Fiona shows Princess Fiona wearing the same tiara and Princess Monica without hers. As we reported earlier this photo was taken in 2001, many years after Princess Monica fled the kingdom and giving her tiara away.

We can now confidently say that we believe we have identified at least two members of the Detroit City Council that have their roots in fairyland. Who knows, many more may be identified along with some cartoon characters and loony toons. Upon learning of this new information, through this Blog, Congresswoman Carolyn “The Cheeks” Kilpatrick indicated that she may ask Congress to amend the Stimulus Bill in include financial assistance the newly identified homeless to include but not limited to DuLocians, Ogres (of all types), Wizards and assorted fairies.

…developing story….

THE FIRST LADY DONS AN APRON TO HELP WASHINGTON’S HOMELESS, March 5, 2009

Michelle Obama First Lady's new job in a soup kitchen!

A man in a wheelchair was among the homeless people she helped to serve.

If Not For Soup Kitchens, Many Americans Would Go To Bed Tonight Without Their Cell/Camera Phones

Blog Comment: I don't envy this man's situation, whatever it is, and don't mean to make light of it. But we are a blessed people when our poor have cell phones. Long live Capitalism!!!

* reminder of to do; Check with Debby Stabenow to see if the Stimulus Package provides camera cell phones to the needy?

METRO DETROIT’S BEST ENTERTAINMENT

Cobo Hall is like a giant migraine headache
Monica Conyers called several important Congresspersons to find out if she could get some sweet stimulus money for Cobo Hall. That is to say, she called her age inappropriate husband, the once respected John Conyers, and he told his wife whatever she wanted to hear. That’s what you do when you marry crazy people. Meanwhile Dave Bing is putting in his two cents. He blames Ken Cockrel’s poor “leadership” because Monica is crazy, Joann Watson is stubborn, and Martha Reeves, Alberta Tinsley-Talabi, and Barbara-Rose Collins are dumb.

Barbara-Rose Collins is out of her freaking gourd
Half of City Council showed up last night for an informal meeting about Cobo Hall and they hit a new high in mental incompetency or maybe a new low depending on where you live. Agnes Hitchcock plans to march on Lansing, throw grapes at the Governor, and get her some stimulus money for her fellow clones on City Council. Monica Conyers is filing a lawsuit. What fun! Not to be outdone, Barbara-Rose Collins thanked an Arab-American man for inventing geometry. I shit you not. Then she led the crowd in a rendition of Onward Christian Soldiers. Martha Reeves wanted to join in but could not remember the words.

Martha Reeves is dumber than sawdust
There is just so much stupidity on City Council that it is impossible to absorb it all. It’s like moron overload. Martha Reeves once, a half century ago, sang a couple pop songs that people liked. This is her single lifetime accomplishment and it qualifies her to serve on City Council. Thank goodness for her leadership because who else would suggest that city government (with its $300,000,000 structural deficit) persuad the city employee’s pension fund to buy Cobo Hall?

It’s worth noting that Reeves and Denny McLain share an attorney so maybe this is Farmer Pete's all over again?

Who the heck knows what’s going on in that woman’s head.

American Idol in Detroit?

Who knows, maybe some good will come out of this insanity. Our sources tell us that Executive Producer Simon Fuller of American Idol saw the news video of last nights Council meeting and is considering adding a new dimension to the popular TV show. The spin off would be named American “Dumb” Idol. Fuller said that the first show would be taped in Detroit and Council members Monica Conyers, Joann Watson, Martha Reeves, Alberta Tinsley-Talabi, and Barbara-Rose Collins all jumped at the opportunity to compete but added a requirement that Ryan Seacrest must be replaced by a host that “looks like Council President Monica Conyers”.

JENNIFER GRANHOLM WAS BORN YESTERDAY

Our brave governor suddenly realized that Michigan’s roads are, in her official estimation, “the pits.” Is that a technical term? Does MDOT include “the pits” in their lexicon of road conditions? Granholm wants to change the gas tax so we can fix our terrible roadways. What a great idea! It’s a shame she didn’t think of this, you know, seven years ago when she first took office. Way to be on the ball Jenny.

Hey Jenny, didn't anybody tell you that lowering the allowable weight of trucks using the roads rather than raising the gas taxes would not only cost us peons nothing but would make our roads last twice as long before becoming “the pits”.

Simple logic….Heavy trucks = “the pits” , Not so heavy trucks = not so many “pits”

Hey Jim, that's no fix. With no “pits”, what do we do with all the “pits” fixers with no “pits” to fix.

THE WHITE HOUSE PRESS CORP IS PROUD TO ANNOUNCE….

Helen Thomas to be inducted into Museum of Natural History

Enlarge Your Economy in Just Days with STIMULUS PACKAGE™

Did you ever ask yourself is your economy big enough? Do you feel insecure about the pork in your portfolio? Do you want to stop your Dow Jones from shrinking at the most embarrassing moments? It is finally possible with the only economy enlargement product that works. You can become a lean, mean and fierce economy-stimulating machine in just days! Satisfy your community's dream of having a representative with a massive Stimulus Package. Enhance, enlarge and upsize your economy today! Stop settling for second best, get your huge bailout here!

Really, real testimonials from the peanut gallery…..

Barney Frank: Voters always laughed at the size of my economy, but then I discovered Stimulus Package I quickly gained a reputation that makes the voters scream. It grew 50% in just one week and I am a changed man...

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Charles Schumer: “The voters go wild and crazy once they see the size of my Stimulus Package.
I love how they say I got pork. I love multiple media orgasms. Forget about fake enthusiasm - the Stimulus Package will keep it strong, firm, and long-lasting”

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Chris Dodd: “You will be absolutely amazed when you see your economy gradually becoming LARGER and LARGER, right before your eyes! NOTHING compares to the feeling of having a larger economy. I don't know where my career would've been without the Stimulus Package!”

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Joe Biden: “Like many other politicians, I was not happy with the flexible, unpredictable economy and my voters shared my view. I always wanted it to be bigger and more controllable. I spent many years and taxpayer dollars looking for a safe and effective method till I finally found something that worked!”

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Nancy Pelosi: “The size of your Stimulus Package is everything when it comes to impressing the voters. The best way to keep them happy is with a huge bailout. It's also a way to longer lasting, more satisfying elections”

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Union guy: “I am not an economist, I am just a Union boss who was unhappy with the size of my benefit package. The Economy Enlargement Stimulus changed that. I am now the talk of the town, keeping my members amazed by the bulge in my pocket that grows larger and larger. I am finally able to give every working girl in the neighborhood a pearl necklace they always talk about”