FATHER OF THE YEARS – JOHN EDWARDS!

 

Thursday, January 21, 2010

IT LOOKS LIKE A PENIS, ONLY SMALLER!

You can take the white trash out of the trailer park but you can’t take the trailer park out of the white trash! The procreating fool John Edwards has finally found it in his heart to confess the truth about his latest offspring (as of today). Especially since one of his lackeys has written a tell-all book about Edwards and his phony, power-hungry wife Elizabeth.

John Edwards is in so many ways a scumbag. He is a trial lawyer, he is greedy, he is a UNC Tarhole grad, he is a Democrat and he has the morals of a drunk Mexican. I know, I know, that’s an insult to drunk Mexicans! I can look forward to a nasty-gram from the Council of Drunk Mexicans tomorrow.

Edwards confessed yesterday in a statement:

“I am Quinn’s father. I will do everything in my power to provide her with the love and support she deserves. It was wrong for me ever to deny she was my daughter, and hopefully one day, when she understands, she will forgive me.”

She’ll understand her biological father is a scumbag who forced one of his friends to lie and accept responsibility for the child as not to hurt Edward’s political chances of being President. What’s really interesting and obvious is the upcoming book is the only reason Edwards is accepting responsibility of the child. Yes, I’m sure she’ll have some wonderful things to discuss with Johnny “when she understands.”

As for the mother, Rielle (real name Lisa Druck), she is a moonbeam Edwards met in a bar and later hired to do video for his campaign. Maybe she had certain…ummm talents…beneficial to the campaign. One thing that crosses my mind. This guy Edwards lives in a house that takes up half of North Carolina. He won gazillions of dollars suing tobacco companies. Hasn’t he ever heard of rubbers? Damn son!

Politico reports Edwards “appears largely to be seeking a more private redemption with low-profile charity work in El Salvador, which he’s visited three times, and now in Haiti. Oh my Lawd, Edwards has done gone and got da Latin Fevah! In a year, there will be hundreds of little ninos in El Salvador with perfect hair running around looking for Papa Juan! And Haiti? John’s got the jungle fever too!

A word of advice. John, just slink away to your million square foot mansion and hope that one day nobody remembers your name. Get rid of your fake, phony wife so you can “hike the Appalachians” to your heart’s extent. Hell, maybe you can hook up with your wingmen Bubba Clintoon and Mark Sanford. Bootylicious womerns have done ruint their minds too!